My Baby Hates Me!

So many moms tell me that they think their baby “hates” them. It’s often when they are struggling with breastfeeding. Babies who are hungry can really wail!

It’s hard to remember though, that once they latch on to whatever will give them the food (bottle, breast) they are almost instantly comforted. All is forgiven. Wouldn’t it be nice if we were that easily comforted? 

That’s the problem of course, we are putting our thoughts and feelings and insecurities into the “thoughts” of the baby. Giving them adult vocabulary and adult disappointment and adult anger. They may look angry, but they are almost certainly not angry with you at all. They are desperate to decrease their uncomfortable feeling, the feeling of hunger. When a baby is hungry they can’t remember that they were ever not hungry. It is an immediate, emergency to fix this problem. Of course, we know that baby is not going to starve if they wait another 2 minutes to eat while you to grab your water and the nursing pillow, but the baby doesn’t know that. Everything is an emergency to an infant.

Kids at every age are communicating the best they can with the language and the brains that they have at that moment. Keeping in mind that babies don’t hate their mothers, they can’t, might allow these moments to be more tolerable! In fact, it’s possible that you might even find some amusement in them.

If you are struggling to tolerate your baby’s crying, you might try wearing ear plugs. They won’t block out all the noise, but they can dampen it a bit. And be kind to yourself, your brain is wired to be extra sensitive to your baby’s cry. This stage will pass.